Tuesday, June 13, 2017

On The Fence....

I've been watching the immigration debate with mixed emotions.

On one hand, I agree with T and the candidate for France; keep them out or allow them, provided they assimilate; after all, if we were to go to their country, we would have to wear the head scarf and not allowed to eat pork.  So why should we suddenly be forced to stop serving pork in restaurants; be tolerant of their religious beliefs by not mentioning Christianity; and in some cases, not go into certain neighborhoods after dark?

But on the other hand, Christ preached love and tolerance.  America was founded on religious freedom.

BUT.....white Christians are rapidly becoming the minority.  So?????

I want the freedom to pray in public;to walk w/o fear through a neighborhood in the daytime; to eat what I want, when I want, and how much I want.

Men.....Who Can Figure Them Out?

I was absolutely floored a few weeks ago, when I saw a PM pop up from a man whom I've not spoken to in three years.

And then it turned out to be one of those 'pranked' emails.

REALLY?

He dropped hints at our reunion that he wanted to continue a friendship with me; even prior to our meeting face-to-face, we'd frequently PM each other on FB.  On my birthday, instead of posting to my wall, he sent me a very sweet Happy Birthday message.

A month after the reunion, he revealed he was dating a former friend of mine.  Fine.  I had no problem with it, and in fact, was looking forward to meeting her again after 30 years.  I PM'd him when I was in town next.

Radio silence.

This continued for 6 months, then they got engaged.  I sent congratulations.

Radio silence.

Another six months went by.  They got married.  Again, I warmly congratulated them.

Radio Silence.

1st anniversary, same thing.

*crickets*

They just had their 2nd anniversary, and again I sent warm congrats.  She 'liked' my comment.  Again, radio silence from him.

I'm still wondering if I missed something at the reunion.

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Let Me Get This Straight...

Hubby just told me an incident which happened last month (go HERE for the story) and it has me in a state of total shock and disbelief.

In a nutshell, a state trooper investigated a traffic accident.  A routine check of drivers license reveals an illegal alien, who's been involved in drug trafficking, had previously been deported, and was now back.  He calls ICE (Immigration and Customs Enforcement), and then finds himself suspended.

For doing his job.

Now I ask, what kind of message does this send?

To illegals:  'Don't worry; if you get caught, the mean officer will be reprimanded...'

To police officers:  'Yes, we have an illegal immigration problem, but in this county, we don't agree with the Federal law, so disregard it.  Just look the other way.'

If we don't pull together as a country, we won't HAVE a country anymore!!!!

For the record, I don't care who sees this post!

Friday, March 3, 2017

You Want Me To Do WHAT?

******WARNING:  Rant ahead***********

Last night, I received the following email:

The editorial committee has reviewed the stories for the (name of the group and title withheld) Anthology and feels your in its current form is not a good fit for the anthology.

Say what?  It went onto say a beta reader had this criticism: "It (the story) isn’t about healing. It’s about how it destroyed them (the characters).  And murdering the person who did it.  It’s not a story that represents victims and could actually lead to other victims getting dark ideas.  Normally, I would be glad if it actually promoted healing, but it doesn’t, and instead promotes hiding and covering up…. The story makes me highly uncomfortable as a sexual abuse survivor and actually was a trigger for emotions.”

Okay, so in other words, you feel as if readers need a security blanket before reading it?  Sigh....this is what I get when 'snowflakes' decide to rule the world and inflict their issues on everyone else.

I don't mean that flippantly; I recognize certain readers would find this story disturbing-hell, I wrote it and even I found it a little disturbing that something so dark came out of my psyche!  But this is what the character revealed, so I wrote it down. 

Here's my beef:  This book is slated to be released in 13 days.  It's been up on a shared Google Docs file for over a year.  And yet you choose NOW to tell me it's not a 'good fit'?

Here's the part that really got me:  "Could actually lead to other victims getting dark ideas."  Um, have you not read any Stephen King?  Seen the TV show, How to Get Away With Murder?  Or even watched CSI or even any Law and Order?  Believe me, there are PLENTY of ways to think, "Oh, I could do that so much better and not get caught!"  

Please.  *eye roll*

I can't change the title; it's out there on ALL of my promo....books I've released, blogs written, even my website.  Yeah, I could go back and change them....and I may still have to, if I can't come up with a decent story to submit.  If I pull out, the antho shrinks even more, and I'd hate to see that happen, since I'm one of biggest names in it.  (Not bragging....just stating a fact.)

I tried seeing if one of my other short stories, one that's more upbeat, would fit, and it might.  On the other hand, as I was off to drown my sorrows at karaoke, another idea came to me, and I wrote 3 pages.  It might be crap; it might be a gem.  At any rate, my heroine finally told me her name this morning, so I'll type it up and see if the creativity takes off.

Can't hurt. 

But again, this just royally pissed me off.  Why the hell did they wait until NOW to tell me?

****Rant over*****

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Smoke And Mirrors???

I've largely ignored the news the past week, and even eye-rolled as I watched the SNL skits about Certain People In Washington.  I stated in the last post that hubby has become an armchair politician, and this morning, had an epiphany.

Is all this media hype concerning a leak, tweet after tweet, problems with confirmations, all simply a case of Smoke and Mirrors?  Misdirecting the media, so they don't see what's actually happening?

DT seems to be largely unaffected by all the kerfuffle surrounding a Certain Brand being removed from stores, firestorms over His Mouthpiece and Chief of Staff.

And as someone pointed out, Dems dealt with Russians too, before they were elected, so why are they so up in arms about DT?  The raids in California were planned way in advance....not just thrown together last minute.  Don't blame DT.  That's on BHO.

I applaud the DNC chair who told his party to 'grow up'.

I'm also proud that only 5 incidents of slamming occurred at the Grammy's.....though I LOVED the 'fake tweet' gag!  But Bey, Busta, Paris, and Katy.....get over yourselves.  Really, 'Pres Agent Orange'? 'Resist' Was it really necessary?  Bravo to the one singer who stood up and wore the Trump Train proudly.  I've no idea who you are, but I'm told your album went to #1 on Amazon on Monday.  Bravo.

I didn't watch the SAGs or the Globes, but was disappointed in one prominent member of Hollywood.  I didn't like her in 1977, and in recent years, I've become a cautious fan, but after the rant onstage after she won, she needs to STFU.

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Election and Shenanigans 2016

Anyone who knows me knows I hate politics.  Always have, and I suspect it's because this goes back to 1976 election when the person my parents wanted wasn't elected.  Plus, we only got 3 channels, and my favorite shows were often pre-empted because the President was on TV.

I was too young to care about the Iran hostages; I was thankful GF didn't have to deal with it, and I joined in with friends singing,

My peanut has a 1st name...it's J-i-m-m-y
My peanut has a 2nd name....it's C-a-r-t-e-r
I love to hate him every day
And if you'll ask me, why I'll say.....
'Cause Jimmy Carter has a way of messing up the USA!
(Theme of 'My Bologna' commercial)

Of course, now I'm 40 years older and realize he DIDN'T mess up the USA, and I was happy during the Reagan years (hubby wasn't!) and was disappointed when Dukakis lost to Bush, plus the 1st Gulf War didn't end everything once and for all, and it took a 2nd one to finally get rid of 'the bad guy', only to have another one rise up.  But I digress.

I was thrilled during the Clinton years, because gas prices dropped; our income rose, and I dismissed all the 'scandal' due to technology.  After all, our founding fathers hadn't exactly been saints either, yet I still adore hearing about Ben Franklin and Thomas Jefferson.  If things had been different and 24/7 news coverage had been around at the start of our country, would any of THEM had been elected?

My BS degree was in social work, and in 1989, the line was clear:  Republicans were against social service; Democrats were for.  I would no longer vote with my parents.

But in 2000, I couldn't stand Al Gore.  And after 9/11, I was very thankful to have GWB in the White House.  Eight years later, I wanted to vote for John McCain, but felt he'd shot himself in the foot with SP as his running mate, as she made gaffe after gaffe.  WTH had he done?  I felt BO  was unqualified for the job; he needed another 4 years in the senate before trying again. I certainly did NOT want SP as the runner up, in case something happened to JM.  I literally took my absentee ballot (I'd not yet changed my address on my license, so I could not vote in my county yet) and closed my eyes, marked it, then stuffed it in the envelope w/o checking.  To this day, I still have no idea whom I voted for.  In 2012, that decision was clear; it HAD to be Republican, since the economy was tanking, PLUS BHO had reneged on every promise I'd heard him make.  Shelter dog??  HA!  Portuguese Water Dog.  Lower the National Debt?  HA!  More like tripled it.  Health Care?  What a joke!  I can't afford $600 a month.  I'm stuck with Short term that doesn't hardly pay anything.

So when Trump threw his hat in the ring and started saying what I'd heard everyone else saying, but NOT coming out of politician's mouths, I sat up and paid attention.

And liked what I heard.

My KIDS liked what they heard.

What everyone did NOT like was the fact that HRC was dodging the FBI, the CIA, Congress, etc, and was apparently snowing women everywhere with her rhetoric.  I stated to several close friends I will NOT vote for her 'just because she's a woman'.  Yes, we need a female president one day, but she's not that person.

Several close friends were on Bernie Sanders' train.  I think, had HRC not secured the nomination, we'd be looking at a situation similar to 2000, only without the 'hanging chads'.

Hubby became an armchair politician this year, binge-watching FOX News and listening to Patriot radio.  I listened because I had no choice while in the car, and heard about a book about HRC.

Son bought it for me for Christmas, and I just finished it.  Loved it, esp since it validated my memory of sketchy details I'd heard about the Clinton years, and filled in the blanks.  It also validated what I'd seen of what's happened to this country in the past 8 years.

I sincerely hope Trump can turn this country back around and get the economy back on its feet.  I'd also love to see some reforms to social welfare; mainly, the standards which have been in place have not kept up with the times.  People are being penalized for work well done; I have a friend in management who complains every time they reward someone with a raise, they have to quit because they'll lose their food stamps or health care.  We ourselves went through a small crisis several years ago and didn't qualify for assistance since we made $50 too much.

$50.  Surely there's some wiggle room?  I mean, COME ON!

I'll admit, my own income has dropped in the past two years.  In 2015, I was on track to have my best year as an author:  I hit the triple digit mark in MARCH, as opposed to June of the previous year, and had doubled that by August.  But then my publisher folded.....and I didn't get paid again until late November, thankfully, a double-digit deposit.  My cash earnings netted me nearly another triple digit number, though I had to pay out for some booth fees and travel expenses.  This past year, I spent over $1000 in booth fees and travel expenses, while only earning maybe a third of it back.  My last remaining publisher just closed its doors, so now I have to pay people to edit and create covers for me.  In short, I won't be able to do as many signings this year that aren't cheap.  The only three I'll cling to are KABB (Sept); Imaginarium (Oct), and ICTAHS (Nov-already paid half!).  And that's providing gas prices don't rise above $3 a gallon.  Otherwise, I'll be dealing with a spouse screaming about travel expenses.

Anyway, time will tell if we've made a colossal mistake.  I was alarmed when pundits began comparing Trump to Hitler....but then again, making the US a socialist economy wouldn't have done us any good either.

All we can do is pray.

And hope that WW3 isn't just around the corner, or that ISIS hasn't infiltrated past the point of no return.  That scares me more than anything, but I won't give into fear, because then they will have won.

Saturday, February 13, 2016

RIP 'Baby'

I saw something last night which has left me in unbelievable pain.  I can't explain it; it's not logical, yet it's as if I was held hostage and forced to watch one of my kids being mistreated, and not being able to do a thing about it.

And the dumb thing?  It apparently happened five years ago.

Growing up, I had a tiny baby doll.  It didn't have a name (that I can remember, anyway!).  Somehow, its eyes lost their color, so I treated this doll as blind, even referring to it as 'My Blind Baby Doll'.  I treated it extra-special.

Over the years, it was left in a toy box with my other prized dollies and stuffed animals, and I'd given this particular baby a crocheted dress, and since it was a 'baby', I'd made it a green diaper, from the material of one of my mom's cast off prom dresses.

(Can you tell this was a special doll?  LOL!)

So imagine my horror last night, as I'm going through picture files on my computer, and came across a video of my daughter and a friend in 2011.  The first thing I saw was them holding my doll and walking down the county road near my parents' house.  At first, I thought they were going to toss my doll into the ditch; at one point, it looks as if they're going to take off the 'diaper' (it didn't have the cream dress on), but don't.

Then my baby is dropped, and all I could whisper was 'Nooooo', as I think they're going to stomp on her.  But they pick her up....hold her 'blind face' to the camera (I didn't have the audio on, so I'm guessing they were treating her as 'possessed' or something), and continue on to the bridge over our small creek.

A holds my baby suspended over the railing, then casually drops her into the water.  I watch, helpless and in shock, as my cherished doll slowly drifts downstream.  The camera panned to the other side as she drifts into view, then appears to drift toward the creek bank.

My hopes rise a little.  Will they go get her?

Then my heart sinks as the water spins her around and forces her downstream.  My daughter and her friend walk away.

Shocked, I tried to tell my spouse, but he was sound asleep. I continued going through the other pictures, until he woke up and asked what I was doing.  Needing to share my shocked discovery, I told him, then began getting emotional.

How can I unsee this?  Imagine you observed your child carelessly toss one of YOUR treasured childhood toys over a bridge.  Observe your dogs shredding an heirloom quilt.  Or an original Teddy Bear.

As I lay in bed, sobbing, my spouse spoke again.

"Maybe you need to try not to think about it."

Excuse me?

It was late at night; if this had happened to him, he'd have everyone in the house awake with his yelling!  Be happy that all I was doing was sobbing my eyes out!

I dried my tears and tried to fall asleep, but when I awoke this morning, it all came back when I heard my daughter moving around.

I told her about the video, and she didn't remember doing anything like that.  I booted up the desk top and found it; after watching it (and with me in tears all over again with fresh pain), she claims she still doesn't remember it.

Do I believe her?  I don't know.

Am I just transferring the pain of July 31, 2014?  Maybe.  I couldn't cry about that, but I can cry about this.

Am I just being an emotional, irrational female?  Who knows?

I don't even know what to do with the video, so I'm posting it here.  

Dear Blind Baby Doll:

I'm so sorry I raised a child who disrespected me in this manner.  You did not deserve this watery end five years ago; you were a beloved doll who held a special place in my heart 40+ years ago, and was hoping to reconnect with you again one day.  I believed you to be in a storage box, not lost forever.  I hope someone found you and gave you a new home; or if you're floating in the ocean, you will be found someday.

My heart is broken

Love,
Your childhood mommy