Monday, July 16, 2018

Bitter Pill, Over-Protective Grandma, Or Normal?

Bitter  Pill:
Yesterday, I went down to see the newest member of the family, my great-grandson PRJ, born Saturday to Miss Drama Queen.  He had been moved to the NICU, since his amniotic fluid was infected and caused his mommy to run a fever.  His APGAR scores were low; he was pale and jaundiced.  I was not allowed to hold him, but I could stroke his tiny hands, feet, and tummy.  When I left, he was supposed to be released this morning.

I posted my eagerness to hold the little darling this morning on FB, then took my mother for an appointment.  My SIL called, and laid down the law.

"No one's going to hold that baby until I do."  (I *assumed* if P was released, then of course my SIL would have held him before me, since I'm an hour away and she's only 15 minutes from the hospital!)

"I told J (her daughter) to back off and let MDQ do what she wants; she's the mama after all, and Mamas know best."  (Ummmmm......MDQ is only 16.  She knows nothing, and will need guidance.  ALL new mamas need guidance, even those with degrees in Child Development!)

"I just know S and J (aunt and cousin) didn't wash their hands when they held the baby on Sat."  (Ummmm, no, I don't think that caused P's seizures.)

I asked if D and N had been to see P yet.
"No, b/c I'm sure it's hard on N, since A (son who died) was in the NICU.  She'll see him when he's out of the hospital and home."  (Okay; I get that the NICU might bring back mild flashbacks, but it's been 15 or so years now!)

"It's also hard on me, since because of what happened to A."  (Get over it; this is NOT the same situation!  A had a severe birth defect; P just has an infection!)

"I told A not to allow anyone to touch the baby until they've washed their hands, aren't sneezing or coughing, or anything, so he doesn't get sick."  (So in other words, you want to put him into a bubble and not let him out until he's old enough to go to school?)

So what's the verdict?  Is this an over-protective Great-Grandma 'Mother Hen', or has my SIL gone completely off her rocker?  She's worked herself into a panic, all because her great-grandson is in the NICU, born to a teenager who's only experience with babies has been Miss A (my granddaughter).

Part of me is furious for being 'put in my place'.....but as I told her, I most certainly would NOT have held P before she'd had a chance to!  And to hear her make it all about 'her'.....grrrrrrrrr.....

But then again, I've never had a child in the NICU, so I'm not familiar with the anxiety.  To me, the child is surrounded by capable doctors and nurses who are doing everything in their power to get him well, and to teach MDQ how to care for him.  So why panic?  It's in God's hands.

So get off the panic button and let YOUR DAUGHTER, the baby's GRANDMOTHER, and the new mama figure it out.  The last thing P needs is extra people hovering over him.

By all means, give advice when asked, and certainly step in, should there be a PROBLEM, but otherwise, stay out of it.

Wednesday, June 20, 2018

Latest Hoopla

Everyone's up in arms over the current situation at the border.  People are being detained in former Big Box stores, as the Gov't sorts out papers on who's legit and who's not.  What's really sparking the outrage is a video/photo showing kids and parents separated in what looks like cages/holding pens, with no blankets, and kids crying for their parents.

What they don't realize is this video/photo was shot in 2014, when OBAMA was in office, and this law was put into place in 1997 under CLINTON!  Our current administration, with the exception of some senators and representatives, had NOTHING to do with it!

I get it; I know the panic/worry when a parent has been separated from a child.  This happened to me in 2004 when my 12 y/o decided to take the escalator in the Detroit airport, instead of going down the elevator with me, his sister, and his younger brother who was in a stroller.  Instead of meeting us at the gate, he chose to wander through some of the shops.  It took me a good fifteen minutes to find him. 

Then there was the incident with my 11-or-12 y/o (what IS it about that age?) at the Chicago S&I museum.  We were ready to head into the viewing of Our Magnificent Oceans, when we realized W wasn't with us.  Several frantic moments later, I reported him missing, at the exact moment he did the same!  I heard his little voice on the radio, and two minutes later, his guard brought him to me.  That kid stuck like glue to me the rest of the day.

So yeah, I get it.

But 1) If you plan to come into our country, do it LEGALLY. 

2)  Learn our language.  Why should we bend over backward learning yours?  If I move to France, I'd be expected to learn French.  If I refuse to learn the language, no one's gonna hire me or bend over backward to change laws in that country.

3)  By all means, practice your religion.  Don't believe in Christmas?  That's okay.  Believe all Christians should be executed?  Why the hell did you move here in the first place?

I am soooooo sick of the division in this country.  When did it become all right for one group of people to insist EVERYONE conform to their ideals?  If I don't agree that business owners have a right to refuse service to someone, then I'm harassed, sued, and run out of town.  On the other hand, if I don't express that belief, then I'm welcome in polite society.  If everyone agreed with everyone, we'd have a pretty boring society.

Yes, I may come off as ignorant.  I'm not a racist; I'm not homophobic.  Just because I choose not to embrace every ideal out there does not mean slap a label on me.  A lot of it has to do with personality.  If our personalities clash, I have the choice to limit my interactions with you.  It does not mean I'm against everything you stand for.

I also choose not to immerse myself in 24/7 news.  Or 24-7 'fluff TV'.  I'll listen to your opinion; I'll most likely simply let it go in one ear and out the other, unless I actually feel otherwise.

I have friends who are Christian, Conservative, Liberal, GLBT, and polar opposites.  Would I put them in the same room?  Depends on the situation.  I'm a peacemaker, not a pot-stirrer.

As in HS, I cannot be labeled.  My mother was on the faculty, so people thought I was a narc.

I was in band, so people thought I was a 'band fag' or a member of the 'whore corps'.

My BFF was a jock.

My other BFF was an unwed mom.

My prom date was an admitted pot smoker who came from a broken home.

My major was Home Ec.

I worked in the library during my free period.

If I WANTED to do drugs, I knew where to get them.  I chose not to.

So what was my label in HS?  No one knew.

Same today.  I'm married to a racist, but this doesn't mean I am.

My older kids have smoked pot.  I'm not proud of this, but they have learned from their mistakes.  Does this make me a bad mom?  No, it means despite my mothering, they chose to do this.

One of my kids was involved in an interracial relationship.  We tried to be friendly to her, but when she attacked my child and nearly caused him to hit her back, we stepped in and drew the line.

My adopted child is gay.  I will defend her choice to live this way.  I even wrote a 'bi-curious' book several years ago, based on another BFF of mine.

My daughter got pregnant in HS.  I fought for her to finish her education, and am helping her raise my adorable granddaughter.

Don't label me; I'm very tolerant unless someone's opinion is attempted to be shoved down my throat.

Wednesday, June 13, 2018

Are You KIDDING Me???

Tonight, on the Star Chamber Show, we were joined by someone new in the chat room, and after exchanging pleasantries, this person suddenly turned snobby:

"writing a book is by no means 
a world accomplishment that."

"it perhaps can be self 
soothing...but not an accomplishment that can 
assist the suffering masses."

"the world needs real 
info...enlightening info....sacred info"

This, after expressing seeming disdain for my 22 published works....

"Quality, not quantity is what counts" 

and...

"99.99% of books published are crap"

I tried to stay nice.  I said I'd read a lot of crap, but it was the exception, rather than the norm.  I was commenting on something the host said, that it takes guts to put ourselves out there....

"That's how we learn if we have any talent!"

To which this person replied, "I disagree."

Thankfully, the co-host managed to be tactful in her responses, while I was dearly wanting to type.....

"Are you TRYING to insult us?"

"We also need ENTERTAINMENT!"

"What would YOU consider a 'worldly accomplishment'?"

"What the hell do you call all those self-help books, if not to assist the 'suffering masses', and how do you know a good book to disappear into won't help?"

"Oh, so you're one of those people who only reads non-fiction?"

"I highly doubt the dictionary of the occult/English language is 'enlightening'!"

Then this person commented he'd read Drakula...."though 99% was supposedly true."

WTH?????

I seriously hope that
a) this person was simply bored and decided to see if he could get a rise out of us on Live Radio
b) this person never pops into the show again.

I might not be so nice next time, and actually TYPE the above responses, to see what happens.


Friday, April 27, 2018

"Not The Cos! Say It Ain't So!!!"

A jury found Bill Cosby guilty of sexual misconduct yesterday.

I'll admit, when the accusations first came out, I didn't believe them.  After all, this was a guy who espoused Family Values.  Prime Time on Thursdays belonged to good, wholesome, programming, with The Cosby Show, Different World, Cheers, and Night Court, with Hill Street Blues at 10pm.  I loved his Fat Albert cartoon in the 70s.  Who didn't love his Jello Pudding commercials?  His stand up routine?

This Cosby is different.  He's swearing at the prosecutor.  He's claiming these women are 'f**n' crazy'.  One woman last week even ran topless in protest, the names of his accusers written on her body.

Everyone is blackballing him.  His shows will not be shown anywhere, no one is coming to the man's defense.  Even Keisha Knight-Pulliam refused to talk about him (from what I saw, anyway....maybe it was edited out?) when she was on BB.

A question was posed several weeks ago:  Can you separate the ART from the ARTIST?  Can an artist be a horrible person, yet have his works revered?

I do hope that one day history will remember Cosby for the GOOD things, not just the fact he is now a convicted rapist.

It breaks my heart to see a childhood icon fall from grace.

Tuesday, February 6, 2018

Indy 500, PC Style.....

I'll admit it; we had some fun at the beginning of the race.

Let me back up a moment.  Ever since Trump was elected, there have been allegations of his being in bed with Russia.  In fact, the 'investigation' is still going, and has led to the resignation of top cabinet members.

Now it's even spread to his son-in-law.

So the VP, Mike Pence, was at the race.  There was a Russian race car driver.  My warped sense of humor kicked in.

"So if the Russian wins, will the Liberals say there is now PROOF the Russians are in cahoots with Washington, and rigged the Indy 500 while the VP looked on?"

Takuma Sato (Japan) goes on to win the 101st running.

"Oh ho, does this now mean JAPAN is in cahoots with Washington?"

Turns out I wasn't far off the mark.

Some racist idiot took issue that the first Japanese driver did his victory lap while waving his Japanese flag on Memorial weekend, wondering if a Muslim had won, and waved his Syrian flag, would we still have applauded?

Umm....yes, and other commenters jumped on him for that remark.

1)  Japan is now our ALLY and what happened over 75 years ago is in the past.  If everyone held a grudge, would ANYONE get along?

2) If a Syrian driver had participated and won, then yes.....he would be allowed to wave his flag.  But come on....seriously.....it wouldn't be Syria.  The closest thing we had to a Middle Eastern country driver was Ed Jones, from Dubai...and he finished 3rd.

Which brings me to another issue....the Rookie of the Year award.

Traditionally, it goes to the HIGHEST PLACE ROOKIE FINISHER!

Which *should* have been Ed Jones.  THIRD PLACE!!

But instead, the Powers That Be awarded it to Fernando Alonso of Spain, who finished in 29th place.  REALLY???  WTH???

Oh and am I the only one who thinks Zach Veech looks transgender?

No Words....

I'm a fairly tolerant person.  If I don't agree with a post on social media, I skip over it and go on.  Occasionally, you'll find me ranting over here about it, esp if there are multiple posts about the same subject, and I can't keep quiet.

But the other day, I nearly unfriended someone.  Here's what she had to say:

"Anyone else find this statement by Martin Luther King Jr.'s nephew, given while standing next to Trump, troubling as hell?:
"We refer to it as a day on, not a day off," Farris said. "It's not a day to hang out at the park and pull out the barbeque grill, it's a day to help someone else. That's the proper way to remember my uncle and the proper way to celebrate the holiday."
I am floored that such a prejudicial statement came from the Black nephew of Martin Luther King Jr., of all people.
And who the hell barbeques on MLK Day anyway??? It's January."


Someone commented (and I happen to agree with this!):
 I'm not sure I understand what you're saying. I take it to mean, look folks, this isn't a day off to play, it's a day off for service. A lot of people I know see it as a play day, a rest day. Side note, I have not gotten this off from work for the last ten years of employment.

Her response:
"Hanging out at the park with barbeque grills" almost always refers to a thing Black people do. What's extra problematic is that NO ONE EVER barbeques on this holiday. Therefore, he is literally using this statement to put down Black people and claim they are partying instead of working towards a cause....and he did it while standing next to Trump.

The 1st person then responded:
Ah. That makes sense

???????  I still don't get it.  'BBQ-ing in the park is a 'Black' thing?'  What about when white people go to the park?  Tailgate?  BBQ in their back yards?  As for 'nobody BBQ;s in January has obviously forgotten the 60 degree temps we had this time last year (this person lives an hour south of me).  WE BBQ'd every chance we got!  Mainly because this meant my spouse cooked, and clean up was soooo much easier when he used our grill!  So where does she get off, claiming it's a 'race' thing??

Comment #2:
Is he from the south? I mean Florida sometimes has 60-70 degree temps in January. I think you might be reading too much into it. What I got out of it was more of a pay it forward/be a good neighbor type of a vibe.

Re:
If anybody actually throws a barbeque in the park on MLK DAY I encourage them to respond and let me know they don't find this troubling.

Re:
Well, I certainly won't be. I live in Ohio and we're a little cold in January to be doing much of anything outside.

Comment #3:
I’m with you

Again, I'm over here like...??????  What's the big frickin' deal????

Then today, this pops up:

"Blacks are tired of Whites constantly telling us that our beliefs about racism are inaccurate."

WTH?????

Then someone posted:
"As far as whites advising blacks about their views about racism being inaccurate, it's like telling women their views about freedom of choice and equality are inaccurate!"

Re:
"Yes! Immigrants, disabled, LGBT, and others, too. I only speak of what is most prominent in my own personal experience. Though I am bisexual, I "present" as straight. And my disability (Crohn's Disease) is an invisible one. But I am bombarded by what it is to be Black in America every single day."

Re:
"Exactly. It’s not only racism, but also prejudices and stereotypes of both. It’s very sad. I do love that there are more platforms for each out there (whether it be football players, musicians, actresses, rallies, etc.) The first step is to make everyone aware. We cannot fix the problem until everyone knows there is a problem."

OMG.....I'm gagging over here.  Guess I need to unfriend her; I don't know how much more I can take.

I know, I know....'ignore it'...but I want to know, HOW is she 'bombarded' with it every day?  That's the same as saying 'I'm a woman; I'm bombarded with the sexual harassment/inequality issue every day.  Ummmm....no, I'm not.

Authors Are Readers Too, Pt 2

So a little over three years ago, I had a WTH moment while participating in a book launch party on social media.  (To see the post, go here)  I'm good friends with this person, so I'm not going to mention any names.  But apparently, I've done something else to piss her off.

She posted on one of her pages about letting a finished WIP 'simmer' before diving into edits, and having finished one myself, I commented that I was doing the same thing, but could feel that 'tickle' about adding additional info and where to write it in, and the fact that I LOVE that feeling of writing non-stop for six days, as the story poured from my fingertips.

Guess what?  Up pops a PM:  "This page is for readers, not authors to gush about their own work."

So, being the nice person I am, I wrote back, "Oops..."

I deleted the comment, then PM'd back that I'd done so.

Any further comments or PMs?  Nada.

IMHO, it would have been nice if she'd acknowledged my mistake and the fact I corrected it.

But that's just me.

After all, we only see each other once a year....and  I have no idea what she says about me behind MY back!

So, forgive and move on.....

******UPDATE********
She DID PM me back, with the following:

"Thank you. I"m sorry to be like that, but it's been a whole lotta work putting this group together."

Which brings me to my next point: If you're going to create several pages (I'm counting at least 3, in addition to her regular page), and having trouble engaging people, then don't b**ch when someone comments, unless it's deroggatory or extremely inappropriate! I wasn't complaining; I was celebrating!

But to each his own....