Last month, I learned my stepdaughter's short term disability had run out, and she needed help with rent, utilities, food, and, oh yeah....Christmas presents.
We could not afford to help her.
She texted again, saying she'd gotten some food stamps and utility assistance....could we help with about $30 for non-food items?
Again, we were unable to help her.
She started a My Family fundraiser on FB, but only raised $75..
On Dec 21st, I was informed A had been awarded about $5K in insurance money, since Master P had had a stroke at birth. Suddenly, they're going out to dinner; buying extravagant gifts for family, and even getting tattoos for herself and A.
Is that a responsible way to spend that $$, I ask?
Now, I get it. If I suddenly came into that kind of money this time of year, yeah....I'd spend some on myself too.
But I sincerely hope they've socked some away for the basics, and we don't get another request mid-January due to 'being out of $$'.
End rant.
*****
Update:
2/11: So far, funds appear to have been spent in sensible manner; we've not gotten any phone calls for assistance.
*********
Another Update:
6/9 (or somewhere around this date): My daughter applies to FedEx, and goes north for the interview. She and A stay with J and Co, and plans are made that, should they offer her the job, J will clear out her back room, and S and A can live with them. S does the math and decides it's possible; if she can save her funds, catch up on her Jeep payments, and possibly save the $2000 needed to get her own place in the neighborhood, since the owners are putting in new units, and they look nice on the website. Red Flag #1: J has no food in the house, so S has to spend $10 of her emergency $$ to buy some chicken so they can eat dinner. My question was, what was J going to feed everyone if S hadn't arrived?
6/14: S receives confirmation of her hire, and starts packing. They drive up on the 16th.
6/17: S calls. Apparently, there is a wall-to-wall hole in the floor in 'her' room, and you have to be careful where to step. Also, J has no food, and is being threatened with eviction. She went to the trustees to see about assistance, KNOWING S had orientation at noon. At 11:30, she wasn't back, and S said MDQ hadn't gone to bed until 4am, and didn't feel comfortable leaving A all alone with only ME and possibly MDQ or even Mini-Miss Drama Queen. She decides she's not going to orientation, and instead, pack up and come home. I deposited my spare $60 into her account, so she could feed the girls lunch and gas up her car.
2pm: J has been turned down for assistance, and MDQ had woken up, discovered the situation, and called Grandma, who rushed over with some food. S and MDQ tell her what's been going on, and she confronts J, who starts pouting and goes into her room. More details emerge:
-Red Flag #2: J had braided someone's hair for $25, and bought minimal food, plus two packs of cigarettes.
-Red Flag #3: J had attended a concert in Bowling Green, KY in April, AND the same concert in Lafayette last week, that's why she didn't have any $$ for food or rent.
-Red Flag #4: Apparently, to hide the fact of her concert-going funds, J created her own false bank account to show to the trustees! 1) this is FRAUD and 2) it shows she has a serious money-spending problem, and is in denial about it.
-Red Flag #5: The dogs are very emaciated and are not getting fed/watered/exercised/socialized on a daily basis. PLUS, they are not being cleaned up after.
-Red Flag #6: The bathroom is missing a hot water knob, and to turn it on, one has to use pliers to turn it on. Also, the floor is spongy.
-Red Flag #7: MDQ is counting down the days til she turns 18, in order to move out. Unfortunately, ME has another year, and is stuck with his mom, before he can enter the military.
So I was a few months off in my estimate of when the shit would hit the fan. I just can't believe someone about to hit 40 could be so selfish, so irresponsible, with money, and who has KIDS and a GRANDCHILD living with them! When will she GROW UP? She wasn't raised this way!
I don't blame my daughter one bit for getting out. My only regret is not taking MDQ and ME away from her fifteen years ago, or even ten years ago. I thought she would have learned her lesson.
Looks like we were wrong.
*****
Update:
2/11: So far, funds appear to have been spent in sensible manner; we've not gotten any phone calls for assistance.
*********
Another Update:
6/9 (or somewhere around this date): My daughter applies to FedEx, and goes north for the interview. She and A stay with J and Co, and plans are made that, should they offer her the job, J will clear out her back room, and S and A can live with them. S does the math and decides it's possible; if she can save her funds, catch up on her Jeep payments, and possibly save the $2000 needed to get her own place in the neighborhood, since the owners are putting in new units, and they look nice on the website. Red Flag #1: J has no food in the house, so S has to spend $10 of her emergency $$ to buy some chicken so they can eat dinner. My question was, what was J going to feed everyone if S hadn't arrived?
6/14: S receives confirmation of her hire, and starts packing. They drive up on the 16th.
6/17: S calls. Apparently, there is a wall-to-wall hole in the floor in 'her' room, and you have to be careful where to step. Also, J has no food, and is being threatened with eviction. She went to the trustees to see about assistance, KNOWING S had orientation at noon. At 11:30, she wasn't back, and S said MDQ hadn't gone to bed until 4am, and didn't feel comfortable leaving A all alone with only ME and possibly MDQ or even Mini-Miss Drama Queen. She decides she's not going to orientation, and instead, pack up and come home. I deposited my spare $60 into her account, so she could feed the girls lunch and gas up her car.
2pm: J has been turned down for assistance, and MDQ had woken up, discovered the situation, and called Grandma, who rushed over with some food. S and MDQ tell her what's been going on, and she confronts J, who starts pouting and goes into her room. More details emerge:
-Red Flag #2: J had braided someone's hair for $25, and bought minimal food, plus two packs of cigarettes.
-Red Flag #3: J had attended a concert in Bowling Green, KY in April, AND the same concert in Lafayette last week, that's why she didn't have any $$ for food or rent.
-Red Flag #4: Apparently, to hide the fact of her concert-going funds, J created her own false bank account to show to the trustees! 1) this is FRAUD and 2) it shows she has a serious money-spending problem, and is in denial about it.
-Red Flag #5: The dogs are very emaciated and are not getting fed/watered/exercised/socialized on a daily basis. PLUS, they are not being cleaned up after.
-Red Flag #6: The bathroom is missing a hot water knob, and to turn it on, one has to use pliers to turn it on. Also, the floor is spongy.
-Red Flag #7: MDQ is counting down the days til she turns 18, in order to move out. Unfortunately, ME has another year, and is stuck with his mom, before he can enter the military.
So I was a few months off in my estimate of when the shit would hit the fan. I just can't believe someone about to hit 40 could be so selfish, so irresponsible, with money, and who has KIDS and a GRANDCHILD living with them! When will she GROW UP? She wasn't raised this way!
I don't blame my daughter one bit for getting out. My only regret is not taking MDQ and ME away from her fifteen years ago, or even ten years ago. I thought she would have learned her lesson.
Looks like we were wrong.
