Friday, July 1, 2011

Making and Breaking Promises....

I'm wondering if I've a right to be upset with a certain person. She knows about my little one's issues and offered her help, but it's been one postponement after another. Here it is, July 1st, and she's only been over ONCE this summer, to evaluate him. I thought she'd be over once a week (so now she's missed 3) for intensive tutoring.

I can't do this all by myself. I've dragged the child to the library; had him reading game board instructions; historical markers; and every time the words 'I'm bored' come out of his mouth, I shove his library book at him and tell him to read me at least one page.

Last week she emailed and said she'd come on Thurs. Yesterday it was 'I'll be over after my shift'; and a few mins ago, a message 'A co-worker's home caught fire and we're all going over to see what can be about if I come over on Tues?.' I had to restrain myself from sending a snarky comment about commitment to children.

In the end, I just 'sighed' and said I understood about emergencies, and told her about my only appointment next week.

I WANTED a weekly tutoring schedule. What I'm GETTING is a once-a-month 'let's see if your mom's doing as good a job as I can'.

Right now, I only hope my efforts ARE paying off, and that in six weeks he will get the 2nd grade teacher who will work with him, or the school allows him to go to 1st grade for reading until he catches up. Otherwise, I'm in for a rough school year, and having no choice but to hold him back.

And to make things more stressful, my stepdaughter is living in a motel, having lost her home, and her kids are living with us and wreaking havok. Why is it if one member of the family gets something to eat, EVERYONE has to have the same thing, even if they just ate an hour earlier? OMG....cereal in the morning....then if daughter wakes up and fixes ramen noodles, both kids are like, 'I want some too!' Uncle Dad gets out tacquitos and queso dip...'I want some...' I swear, these two could hear a Doritos bag being opened if they were three doors down at the neighbor's house! I miss my hour where I could safely melt a square of chocolate almond bark and enjoy some chocolate-dipped pretzels. If these two end up with us for the next school year, I'll have to wait six more weeks.

But having them here is my choice; they have a stable home life with us; they aren't being constantly dragged around or being yelled at by a grumpy, sleep-deprived parent who insists on 'working things out' with her deadbeat boyfriend 'because I LOVE him'...even though he has 8 kids with three other women....thank GOD she had her tubes tied!....get a clue; your kids are supposed to come FIRST, not a leech whose SSI checks go for child support.

As I ranted to a friend a few weeks ago: This is what's been going on since she moved to the 'big city', where opportunities are better:

She moves in with 'a friend' but suddenly car breaks down/gets sick/kids get sick/gets fired
or laid off from work. Then she's looking for another place to live/new job.

2005: Began working in Indpls, but since day care was too expensive, her kids
came to live with us, with the understanding she would come over, have dinner
with them, and tuck them into bed (she worked 11pm-6am). But gas prices shot
up, so she only arrived Friday mornings...then Fri night....then Sat
morning....Sat get the picture. Sometimes she didn't show up at
all (We lived half hour from her job).

May 2006: She lost that job, and her apartment, but went on a temp job and met
a new friend. Suddenly, the plan is she'll move in with her, and since the
friend will be working days instead of nights, J will watch her kids and vice
versa. This is when I had my meltdown and hoped she'd get her act together.

July 2006: Kids are back in our care b/c things went sour with her new
'friend'. She's met a guy who'll help her out.

Sept 2006: She and new b/f move in together; kids now staying with their dad,
who's out of jail, since MDQ (Miss Drama Queen) has to start kdgn.

2007: She and b/f find new house; take kids from dad permanently.

2008: My hubby stays with them for five months instead of motel room, and she
literally nickels and dimes him to death every week for help with bills/car
expenses/internet hook up/twenty bucks here and there. He tells me he'll never
stay with her again.

2009: She moves in with her mom 'to get her finances straightened out'. Has
medical probs in fall; can't work. Drives my SIL crazy.

2010: Surgery in Feb; supposed to return to work. Nope; complications keep her
from working.

Aug 2010: Ships her kids to aunt's house in Wisconsin. They're back by
Thanksgiving. Meanwhile, she and b/f find house and move in. Her brother gets
her a job.

May 2011: Discovers b/f has been cheating and not paying rent. Meanwhile, kids
are back in my care. She asks if we can keep them until she finds another place
to live. I tell her I'll keep them for summer, and maybe longer.

June 2011: She's staying in motel for a week, then moving in with another
'friend'. Her car's been repo'ed, and she's looking for a better paying job.

I'm fed up with her. My SIL has made noises about taking the kids away from
her; I say the same thing. We have the time and energy to give them a stable
home, since I work at home and hubby's retired. SIL works full time plus
consults, and her new b/f just moved in with HER. We have seven people in a two
bedroom/1 bath house. Mr. Energy sleeps in Will's bed; MDQ on the couch; my youngling
on air mattress with his big brother, who's home from college.

And in the meantime, I discover one of my release dates has been moved up to July 6th! Time for my hubby to step up and help out around here so I can work on my edits and do my JOB! I'm now editing four books, one of which has a deadline of Monday, if I hope to keep that release date. Fortunately, there isn't as many errors as the other three, so this should be a breeze. I'm only seeing one comment where I need to rework it.

Anyway, that's my rant for the month. Sometimes I neglect this space too long.

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