Bitter Pill:
Yesterday, I went down to see the newest member of the family, my great-grandson PRJ, born Saturday to Miss Drama Queen. He had been moved to the NICU, since his amniotic fluid was infected and caused his mommy to run a fever. His APGAR scores were low; he was pale and jaundiced. I was not allowed to hold him, but I could stroke his tiny hands, feet, and tummy. When I left, he was supposed to be released this morning.
I posted my eagerness to hold the little darling this morning on FB, then took my mother for an appointment. My SIL called, and laid down the law.
"No one's going to hold that baby until I do." (I *assumed* if P was released, then of course my SIL would have held him before me, since I'm an hour away and she's only 15 minutes from the hospital!)
"I told J (her daughter) to back off and let MDQ do what she wants; she's the mama after all, and Mamas know best." (Ummmmm......MDQ is only 16. She knows nothing, and will need guidance. ALL new mamas need guidance, even those with degrees in Child Development!)
"I just know S and J (aunt and cousin) didn't wash their hands when they held the baby on Sat." (Ummmm, no, I don't think that caused P's seizures.)
I asked if D and N had been to see P yet.
"No, b/c I'm sure it's hard on N, since A (son who died) was in the NICU. She'll see him when he's out of the hospital and home." (Okay; I get that the NICU might bring back mild flashbacks, but it's been 15 or so years now!)
"It's also hard on me, since because of what happened to A." (Get over it; this is NOT the same situation! A had a severe birth defect; P just has an infection!)
"I told A not to allow anyone to touch the baby until they've washed their hands, aren't sneezing or coughing, or anything, so he doesn't get sick." (So in other words, you want to put him into a bubble and not let him out until he's old enough to go to school?)
So what's the verdict? Is this an over-protective Great-Grandma 'Mother Hen', or has my SIL gone completely off her rocker? She's worked herself into a panic, all because her great-grandson is in the NICU, born to a teenager who's only experience with babies has been Miss A (my granddaughter).
Part of me is furious for being 'put in my place'.....but as I told her, I most certainly would NOT have held P before she'd had a chance to! And to hear her make it all about 'her'.....grrrrrrrrr.....
But then again, I've never had a child in the NICU, so I'm not familiar with the anxiety. To me, the child is surrounded by capable doctors and nurses who are doing everything in their power to get him well, and to teach MDQ how to care for him. So why panic? It's in God's hands.
So get off the panic button and let YOUR DAUGHTER, the baby's GRANDMOTHER, and the new mama figure it out. The last thing P needs is extra people hovering over him.
By all means, give advice when asked, and certainly step in, should there be a PROBLEM, but otherwise, stay out of it.
